Adolescence is a period of significant change i.e. sexual, physical, emotional,
and behavioural. Guidance from parents can help a teen through these stressful
and new experiences. Open communication about such topics as emerging sexual
feelings and confusion about the changing relationships among peers can help a
teenager understand that what they are experiencing is “normal.” Teens should
not be pressured into "growing up," but should be allowed to develop their
skills in an age-appropriate manner.
Parents who have positive communication with their adolescents can negotiate
with their teen to gain independence in a way that will protect the teen from
"jumping out of the nest" too early yet allow them to experience the power of
independent decision making.
Certain conditions and circumstances make an adolescent more at risk for
antisocial and/or self-destructive behaviours.
Signs of a troubled teen:
Your child becomes more secretive, and it seems like more than a desire for
greater privacy
Your teen regularly misses curfew, does not show up when expected, and lies
about his or her whereabouts.
Your teen’s grades have suddenly dropped and he/she has lost interest in the
usual activities.
Your teen has regular, sudden outbursts of anger that are clearly out of
proportion to whatever has caused the anger
Your teenager has suddenly changed his/her peer group and hasn't made an effort
to let you meet these new friends. The new group has led to a distinct change in
appearance and change in attitude i.e. sullen, defiant, hostile.
Your teen has extreme mood swings, from depression to elation, and seems to
sleep a lot more than usual at times.
The typical signs of teenage depression are:
• Low energy
• Adolescent feels "low" most of the time
• Irritability, especially when pressured to "do something"
• Weight loss or gain
• Insomnia or sleeplessness, or excessive need for sleep
• Child expresses feelings of worthlessness
• Suicidal thoughts, ideation, or threats
• Drop in grades or missing school
• Drop in social activities or a sudden change in peer group
• Indecisive or doesn't seem to care about anything
• Low frustration level
• Frequent bouts of crying, often for "no reason"
• No longer participates in their usual activities
If your teenager seems stuck in a pattern that includes some of these behaviours, it is time to seek counselling and make sure your child has the proper supports in place.
Family counselling is essential when treating adolescents with behavioural or emotional problems. Improving communication between family members and helping both the parents and the teen understand how conflicts can be resolved through improved communication often result in significant improvements in the family relationship.
It is important that parents not feel defensive if the therapist focuses on changes in how they communicate with their teenagers. The need for such a change is not an indictment of the parents' abilities, it is simply a part of the therapeutic process that will help them better work with their adolescent and find solutions to behavioural issues.
For adolescents, the approach of the therapist needs to reflect their current life experience. Therefore, "talk therapy" tends not to be as effective as therapy that involves activity or experience i.e. experiential therapy, play therapy, and art therapy. These forms of therapy allow symbolic expression of internal conflicts.
